Barely holding on

After almost 1 year.. I come here.. writing my bad thought again..
recent news I'm still struggling to finish what I'm starting..😭
Demi Allah, rasa tak sanggup sangat sangat dah
rasa penat melampau lampau😭😭😭😭

Half of my friend almost getting close to end their journey
waiting for senat approval, and so on..
im still struggling to do the correction and being scolded for making mistake
and still not viva..sedih..Allah je tahu, pujuk hati pujuk ari ari..tp bila malam..
i have a lot of thoughts.. T.T
deep inside I'm crying, almost give up even I'm in this phase
i don't even know what I'm doing in my life..
my head keep chanting .. "die, die die.. u should die, u should die.. living in this world is worst,, meeting people is worst.. myself also worst.. i don't want to live anymore"

Dear bloggie, it become more worst when I keep remember people that i should not remember..penat la hai..setahun tu, adala 2 3 ari mst nk igt.. after a few months mesti nk igt..
rs nk tampaq-tampaq diri sendiri...regret a bit.. but i know I'm not the best one to be beside him
again, I'm so sorry what i have done to you.. please don't resend me..
Please.. I really hope that u r happy with your life now..
sayang tak semestinya memiliki kn..😔
Dearself, let me hug u even nobody hug u..
its ok.. everything will be ok soon.. u can make it until the end..