PHD...T.T

Terjebak......

Akhirny..setelah 2 taun abeh master...
taun ni....taun ni 2018 bulan SEPTEMBER...
I'm doing my PHD...what the H***

Sius..aku sendiri pun xpasti cmna leh sambung..
tba2 je kena tulis proposal..tba2 jer...lulus..
tba2 je registered masuk...
everything was so suddenly...
I'm speechless

n...here...I am alone..
LONELY...
dlu time kat umah..beriyer nk dok sorang3..
nk kurung diri lam kotak la..apa la..
last3..bila dok sini sorg3..haa..menangis nk cari kawan..
sadis...yang ada pun junior3 jer...tu pn xkenal sgt... (T___T)
dulu kt umah..gedik3 nk klua malam..bila dok sini sorg4..HARAM klua ke bilik air pn MALAS..
sadis...dats y...I'm feeling so complicated..
what's wrong with me..

meeting people3 yang sambung PHD ni..rata2 da keja..keja AWESOME weh..
gila..ak ja xkeja tetap..men sambung ikut dan ja..
well..kalo bukan demi parents ni...aku xsambung jugak..
deme biyer3 sgt...xtahu la nk ckp..tp result dia sama jer..nak xnk sama jer..

the most important part is..my half soul is gone..
I dunnno what I want anymore..
I'm juz walk without direction..

FRUSTRATED..LONELY..SADNESS..BETRAYAL...DOWN
not even 1 week I'm staying here..i feel so exhausted...
depression...I'm keep thinking...it is right road or not..
it is the road dat I want..?
actually..i did not want dis thing happen..
but..is it happen bcoz my mum prayer...?
I'm lost inside myself
I hate myself more n more
I cant love myself
feeling like a LOSER.